The Monkey in the Middle

Assalamualaikum everyone!

Hope you all are well by the grace of Allah عَزَّ وَجَلَّ☻

A difficult yet absolutely vital function husbands should be uplifting is defending and granting justice to the one who deserves it. The need for this usually comes up in a situation regarding, typically, a woman and her in-laws. And you men, man up.

How often do I hear about a woman complaining how she was in some way abused yet the husband sat quietly. Honestly, do not get married dear men, if you are not courageous enough to stand up for what is right. This can be the other way around as well, the wife could abuse her in-laws while the husband does nothing to stop her.

Unfortunately for you men, you are the judge, the balance on the scale. You must stand up for what is right and stop any abuse going on between your family and your wife. Your silence is absolutely detrimental to the family.

The other day someone was telling me how her mother-in-law mistreated her, she went to her husband after much patience only to get the reply “how dare you talk about my mother like that?” She explained the situation yet another heart-wrenching reply came about, “what do you want me to do?! She’s my mother!” Yes, she is your mother, yes you should hold high respect and good thoughts of her but not to the point where you cause injustice. You have to stand up, even to your mother, if anyone is misbehaving, it is your duty!

Your mother is definitely the person you should dare not to hurt, but if she is causing other people to hurt you have to take a step, you have to. I don’t mean confront her in a terrible manner, go to her with a soft tone, ask her about her side of the story, remain calm, patient, and soft. Explain why she was wrong and if she still persists in her misbehavior, perhaps you will even need to cause for a distance to be between your mother and your wife.

Allah said, “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” (4:34). So protect your women.

I know, it’s a hard task. It might frighten you, telling your wife, father, brother, sister, or your mother that their behavior is wrong, but fear Allah more than you fear your family members. Allah hates injustice, so try your best to keep injustice out of your family.

Why the men,  you may ask. The man is the connector in the family, for example, the mother has a direct relationship with her son as the wife has a direct relationship with her husband. The “man of the house” is the one who judge between the two in fairness as he is more likely to be unbiased in the argument. Furthermore, the man is close to each member thus he can speak to each party without causing much offense and conflict. So men, this is your duty, good luck with it and be careful and conscious of what goes on in your houses.

May Allah keep peace in our homes and increase the love between all members, ameen.

Fi amanillah,

✧ Dania



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