Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!
I hope you all are well by the grace of Allah ☻
An issue today, especially if you’re desi, are the extravagant weddings that we have. I’m going to be straightforward about this issue. We need to stop ourselves, marriage is supposed to be a simple matter.
Today, marriage has become quite a competition. Did you see her wedding dress? How did she get such a good looking husband? Look at the venue! Look at her dress, girl are you trying to look better than me? Tariq uncle was upset because he did not get a seat at the front table. So many competitions and complications go on in our weddings today. We must focus on investing in our marriage rather than our wedding. It’s the marriage that we are hoping to last, everyone will forget about your wedding day in a while.
Why are we spending so much money? People take out loans to get married, subhanallah, where are we going? We start marriage by causing debt! Something we should try our best to avoid. But no, we’ve got to have the best venue, the best dress, the best makeup, the best invitations, the best food, and the list goes on and on. Why does this impact you so much? Yes it’s a beautiful and big day, but this is not how you should express your happiness.
There’s so much fitna that goes on in our weddings. Girls dancing in front of men they don’t even know, and that aunty over there is starting a gossip session. It’s best to avoid a marriage that causes so many issues. Especially, let’s mention again, debt.
Keep it simple guys, keep it simple. In sha Allah you will have more barakah in your marriage if you don’t waste so much money for a day everyone is bound to forget after they give each other evil eyes.
All it takes is two events, nikkah and walima. That’s it. We don’t need dholkis (where again girls usually dance in front of strange men on songs filled with shirk and sing songs filled with shirk), a bridal shower (yes we get it….you’re getting married, we celebrated you in the dholkis already, why this now?), mayoon (a hindu tradition we pakistanis have adopted), mehndi (another hindu tradition we adopted and this one is probably the worst of all, stay away), and then the shadi/rukhsati. That’s a minimum of 5 unnecessary events. Think of all the money: the makeup and hair every day, the new outfits, the food, the entertainment. It’s so pointless. That money can help so many people. Wake up, stop being a slave of the world. You can show your happiness in many other and beautiful ways where you can bring more happiness and love into your marriage.
We also go overboard with walimas. Walima is a way to feed people in the happiness of your marriage and to publicize your marriage. Let’s keep it to the point.
Extravagance is a major issue that takes the true value away from marriage: the new life the couple is going to have, the way they will push each other towards goodness, and fulfilling half the deen. Now if you don’t keep multiple events people complain and say koi maza hi nahin ayaa, shadi waala ghar hi nahin lagta (there was no fun at the wedding, it doesn’t seem like a house where a wedding is going on). Well firstly, people don’t get married for YOU to have fun. Although, do have fun! I’m not saying to have the most boring wedding ever, but stay in limits is what I’m suggesting. Keep it simple and let your wedding shed light upon the true value of your marriage.
“Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allâh has given him. Allâh puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him”
May Allah bless the marriages of those who are married and grant wonderful spouses who live to please Allah to those who are not, ameen.